Some repair guy: “Hi I’m here to look at the skaboodinator”

Me having no clue what tf a skaboodinator is: “Sure, do you have a point of contact?”

Repair guy: Yes, its [only person that knows anything about the skaboodinator including where to find it on the complex and they just went on a three week vacation starting yesterday. Also you’re the only one left in the building for the rest of the day.]”

Me: “Alright let me rip out my organs and aggressively fling them onto the wall”